April 27, 2011

His First Time

My husband, my Sir, and myself will be attending a major BDSM event together in the very near future. It is a full 3 day event held at a campground and consists of approximately 300 kinksters, Dominants, submissives, slaves, Masters, swingers, and everything in between. This is the first BDSM event my husband will attend. It will also likely be the last. He does not appear to be looking forward to it. I think he is nervous about what he will see and what will happen. He is not looking forward to sleeping in a cabin with about 30 other people. He is not looking forward to the lack of privacy (communal bathrooms, showers, etc.). I truly hope he will be able to keep an open mind, let his inhibitions go, relax, and even enjoy himself.

The cabins all have single twin beds. Usually couples push two beds together in order to sleep together. The plan is to push three beds together, with me sleeping in between Hubby and Sir. I feel bad for them both as I tend to flail about quite a bit in my sleep LOL. One of these days, my flailing is going to wind up in my having to sleep bound in rope, I'm quite sure.

Anyway, the time is coming close and I need to have a serious talk with Hubby about all of this. Him and Sir talk quite a bit and I KNOW that they are already plotting and planning. And while Hubby appears to be ok with my relationship with Sir, he has not really witnessed any hardcore playing, or even much intimacy beyond a hug and kiss. He has witnessed some light play sessions that really weren't much more than us goofing around. I need to know what the boundaries are going to be, or should be. I need to know what he is ok with and what he is not. I need to know if he is going to be ok if Sir wakes up at 5 am and awakens me by fucking me as he so loves to do. I need to know if he is going to be ok with seeing Sir beat my ass until I'm near tears.

I so look forward to camp. I look forward to 3 full days of complete freedom. Freedom to walk around naked all day, freedom to fuck in public, freedom to be beat without any worry of judgment from others. However, I do not want to risk damaging my relationship with Hubby by him witnessing first hand more than he is emotionally prepared to see. Knowing about and talking about these things are completely different than seeing it with your own eyes. My fear? Is that he will not know what he will be ok with, and what will upset him until after the fact. And it could possibly be too late by then.

No comments: