February 21, 2012

Nyotaimori # 2

This photo was taken of me during the first nyotaimori sushi dinner that was held last year.

 The sushi was decorated into a stunning snake along my back.

I was invited back to be a model again this year. This year the theme was holidays and I was paired with the event organizer's husband to be Mrs and Mr Clause. We had a blast, and I was even able to talk my husband into attending. I was poked with chopsticks, tickled and otherwise tortured as the attendees filled their plates with sushi. And I say "tortured" with the biggest smile on my face of course!

 I have to admit, I had none of my former shyness with being nude in front of others. I must say, I'm starting to become quite the exhibitionist. Though I'm not as thin as I used to be, being nude in front of others has done wonders for my self esteem and has decreased my negative criticisms of myself. I'm more comfortable in my own skin. I'm not quite sure why that is and I've not really taken time to analyze it. But then, I don't really care to either. I'm comfortable and having fun. That's all that really matters to me.

Stayed tuned for naked snow angels!

February 14, 2012

Happy Valentine's Day

This is going to be my husband's Valentine's Day present. I am SO excited and can't wait until he gets it! He spent quite a bit of time researching exactly what he wanted and has had this in his wish list for quite some time. Because it is custom made to order, it will be 6-8 weeks until he receives it. So the bad news is that he will not actually have it in time for Valentines Day, but he should have it in time for camp which I'm super excited about!

February 3, 2012


My former Sir has met someone. I'm happy for him. He's a good guy. We had a our differences, which over time caused me to become more and more annoyed, but he is well meaning. I want him to be happy. He deserves to be happy. I'm married. I love my husband. I'm happy. I have a good life.

So why do I feel jealous? I have no right to. I do NOT want him back in my life. At least not in a romantic way or in a D/s context. Why do I feel jealous? Why do I feel nervous about meeting her? How can I expect others to understand me when I don't even understand me?