Jealousy?

My former Sir has met someone. I'm happy for him. He's a good guy. We had a our differences, which over time caused me to become more and more annoyed, but he is well meaning. I want him to be happy. He deserves to be happy. I'm married. I love my husband. I'm happy. I have a good life.

So why do I feel jealous? I have no right to. I do NOT want him back in my life. At least not in a romantic way or in a D/s context. Why do I feel jealous? Why do I feel nervous about meeting her? How can I expect others to understand me when I don't even understand me?

Sometimes this is what I feel like dating in the BDSM world is like.
With so many fetishes and differing wants, needs, and desires,
 It's a wonder any of us manage to find a partner who meet our personal requirements.

It may be time...

I'm getting antsy. It's been just about 2 months since my last play session, and the break-up of my Sir and I. I'm feeling that familiar craving creeping back. I'm longing for someone to just take control. To allow me to be myself, to allow me to follow his guidance, to allow me to submit.

My husband and I are currently talking about how this will work, how I will go about meeting someone new and the process of getting to know them. This is sticky territory. Not only do I have to be comfortable, but so does my husband. My safety and well being are of utmost importance to him. It will be a slow, long process until I find that one. I may be ready to just jump in head first, but I have to go at my husband's pace. I must be patient.