October 16, 2010

Suprises, suprises!

After a horrible day at work, I met my Sir out for dinner. I was tired and cranky. Actually, that's an understatement. I was downright bitchy. I have no idea how Sir put up with me. But, as usual, he was doing his best to be sensitive to my feelings and needs, and, knowing how shitty my day was, he was trying to go out of his way to make plans to go where he thought I wanted to go. I'm such a bitch. Nothing was good enough. Everything irritated me. I broke down in tears at least 3 times that evening. I swear, I couldn't have been as patient as he was. Hell, I just wanted to beat my own ass for my poor behavior. But wait, that would have been a reward though. But it sure would have helped me to wind down though. Probably the very thing I needed to relieve some of that stress.

Anyway, I ended the evening early because I didn't want to subject him to any more of my crankiness and just wanted to go home and go to sleep. Shortly after I got home, my husband arrives. He hadn't been expecting me home so early and seemed a little surprised that I was there. Despite how tired I was, we had a wonderful conversation. We've been having a lot of those lately. It feels wonderful when we talk.

It turns out, he was a little disappointed when he arrived home and saw I was there alone. He actually said he was hoping that Sir was there, and that the three of us would have a little playtime together. I was stunned! It was even like he was reading my mind, because the whole evening I was out with Sir, all I kept thinking was "I just wish I could take you home with me to cuddle on the bed".

Polyamory is new to all three of us. The lifestyle (BDSM) is completely new to my husband. He has been so gracious and understanding of my needs , despite struggling at times with having to "share" me, that I am simply amazed by him. It's not everyday that a husband allows his wife to have a boyfriend LOL. Thus far, the three of us have had only two scenes together, and both were very limited and short. Sir takes things slowly when introducing my husband to the lifestyle, being very sensitive and doing his best to anticipate his feelings. But we are definitely making progress and I'm excited that my husband continues to want to be involved!

So hubby and I talked. I let him know how surprised I was by his disappointment. Then I made it very clear, that if he wishes for something like that to occur, he would have to make the plans for it himself. I made it clear that this is our home.I would never assume that he would be ok with seeing another man use me in our own home. I explained that I wouldn't want him to feel as though our personal space was violated, or have unwanted images in his head every time he crawled under the sheets of our bed. He agreed and I could tell he was touched as I reminded him that his feelings always come first. but I could also tell that he was excited about the idea of the three of us spending some together.

Soooo, I'm happily looking forward to another night, when my son is away for the weekend, that I may be surprised with getting a whole night with my two favorite men!

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